Today’s the last day. I am officially done! Oh.my.gosh.
This year I experienced a lot of change. I know that fourth year is stressful but I didn’t really prepare for the emotional or social side of things. I decided to move downtown because last summer I got to live in the annex with some awesome roomies and I just loved the vibe here (yes I was doing summer school again..) and this year I went abroad (there’s a ton of travel posts on that). If I told myself in high school that I was going to Italy I would have thought: “me? ya suuure” Or even if I told myself that at the beginning of the third year I still wouldn’t have believed it.
Originally, I wanted to study abroad in Italy just for the summer but the course I wanted wasn’t offered. And I am so so so glad I was a part of the program, ya there were ups and downs, and it was terrifying to leave at first, but I met some of the sweetest people and we got to share an experience like none other and just grow together. I miss it a lot. I definitely have the travel bug, and I never considered working outside of Ontario, let alone Canada, until after that experience. I realized that as much as I tried to plan ahead, some things come up out of the blue that can be really great. I learned this year to go with the flow, things will work out. That’s not to say you shouldn’t prepare a bit, but for me, I just need to trust myself and understand that not knowing is totally fine.
I’ve found that when I didn’t know the exact outcome, whether it was for a project or something in life, it kept me excited. Yes, I was freaked out and stressed, which is normal, but the fear of not knowing is what kept me curious. I hope to always be curious, otherwise I’d have to admit, life would be boring and there wouldn’t be surprises.
As I finish my undergrad, I can tell you, I don’t know exactly what I’m doing. And I don’t have to. (Sorry mom, sorry dad). Yes, I have goals, but I don’t have a step by step plan for the rest of my life. You know, one thing can lead to another, I might stumble my way into a great opportunity, who knows? And I have a lot of interests as I’m sure most of us do, which I want to explore and I want to learn outside of school. I’ve been in school for 17 years straight with at most, a 2 month break. That is so weird to comprehend. My life has always been school and very structured. And I’m only 21. I’m a youngin’ So yeah, I am really nervous how I am going to handle life after undergrad but excited. I believe in myself. And you should believe in yourself too!
Ok, freak out moment: I can’t believe it that 4 years are over. This phase in my life was such a weird one. But I realized all those embarrassing, “dramatic”, stressful, sad, and creative times needed to happen. They’re what made me who I am now. I’m so thankful for everyone I got to meet and those experiences along the way, thanks guys I don’t think I say it enough! Honestly, here are just a couple things I want to keep in mind after graduating:
- Keep on applying to jobs/submissions/ whatever interests you. You have nothing to lose!
- Keep making art.
- Keep in touch with your friends and faculty.
- Everyone has their own definition of success. Just live to your definition.
It’s been a blast UofT and Sheridan peace out forever*
* lol, just kidding I’ll still be in the studio for a wee bit longer and I have just one last essay ahhhhhh!
Oh yeah my playlist for this year is here (more tunes will be added)